Step by Step

I’m sitting in the living room at Dad and Mom Smith’s house, processing, praying, reading, focusing my heart and mind. Jonathan is with the group of believers who have been our church family for the last seven years, saying goodbye. I couldn’t bear to go this morning… I didn’t want to dissolve into a puddle of tears and make an already difficult situation even harder.

I don’t know how much to say or not say about our situation. Jonathan and I have been disturbed for quite some time about the leadership structure at our chapel. Jonathan has been a deacon and his dad an elder for a couple years, and they have been trying to affect some changes toward a more biblical model of leadership. Their efforts have not been successful and they have each come to the conclusion that it is time to depart.

Our chapel family is so dear to us. They have been “hands and feet” to us in many ways through the years. We have no feelings of anger or bitterness, just love and sadness. We don’t want to cause division with our departure; we simply believe that our time of being a benefit to this body has passed, and we are unable to remain under a leadership structure that we believe is unbiblical.

I’ve been reading Hebrews 11 this morning, and feel some kinship with Abraham, who “went out, not knowing where he was going.” I just pray that we will be faithful as Abraham was faithful, that God might be glorified through us, and that many may be blessed as the Lord works through us. We want to follow where HE leads.

Sometimes I think of Abraham
How one star he saw had been lit for me
He was a stranger in this land
And I am that, no less than he
And on this road to righteousness
Sometimes the climb can be so steep
I may falter in my steps
But never beyond Your reach

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You’ll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

One of my favorite memories of Rich Mullins involved this second song. He closed out a concert with it, and used it to direct our focus to the Lord. Hearts full of worship for our Lord, we suddenly looked up and Rich was gone. And it was okay, because he had led us to the Person who was most important. It’s a memory that to me epitomizes Rich’s life. And that’s what I want my life to be… may I direct the focus of those around me to my Creator, that they might see Him and not me.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kim & Dave
    Jan 31, 2010 @ 14:47:36

    Laurel-we have been there…..& I know, it is one of the hardest times in your life-especially when you love those Believers & you know they love you.We will be praying. Do you know where you will most likely end up?


  2. MagenRanae
    Jan 31, 2010 @ 17:09:14

    😦 I'm sorry, Laurel. I'll be praying for you and your family.


  3. Wayne and Genene
    Jan 31, 2010 @ 17:14:22

    Oh, sugar, we are so sorry. Even tho we "knew" it was coming, I still cannot stop crying for your loss. We realize how difficult this decision was and are praying for you as you seek guidance for the next step.


  4. Laurel
    Feb 01, 2010 @ 21:57:35

    Thank you so much for the encouragement and prayers. Kim, we don't really know at this point. We are praying about starting a home meeting, as well as possibly visiting other meetings.


  5. Laurie
    Feb 10, 2010 @ 11:15:01

    Step by step. How can we step but by God's gracious leading."I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led." (R. Mullins Hard to Get)


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